Know What Makes Your Spouse Tick Not What Ticks Your Spouse

clockwork-21254_1280

 

Now that I have your undivided attention this article isn’t going where you may think. This isn’t about pushing hot buttons. It is about how men and women are different although equal.

We put this study under the heading of Personal Worth:  Security and Significance.  These are normal needs.

If we weighed a woman on a set of balance scales she would weigh heavier on the Security Side and lighter on the Significant Side. If we weighed a man on a set of balance scales he would weigh heavier on the Significant Side and lighter on the Security Side.

The male and female need some of both but in differing amounts Security Defined Love, Unconditionally and Consistently Expressed, Permanent Acceptance Significance Defined Purpose, Importance, Adequacy for a job, Meaningfulness, Impact

This explanation is not to be misinterpreted as to which party is most important. Review the God-given responsibilities assigned to the husband and wife to see how security and significance support the balance of duties. Proverbs 31 is a biblical compliment to any wife.

Problems develop in a marriage relationship when the husband and wife develop a wrong belief as to what makes them feel/seem secure and significant. One of the 6 reasons marriages fail is due to husband/wife role reversal.

If a wife feels insecure in the marriage she will seek to enhance her feelings of being more significant. Likewise, if a husband feels insignificant in the marriage he will seek to enhance his feelings of security. Both re-actions tend to lead husbands and wives to satisfy these needs from other people or other activities excluding each other.

Next time:  Emotional Love Language